Sunday, March 7, 2010


Okay now I've got the photos on both blogs. The first one saguaro cacti on the Slate Trail, the second Desert Tortoise (almost a foot long) and the third Cave Creek when there's actually water in it.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Photos from Cave Creek Regional Park

I accidentally posted the photos on Fridge Soup!

Cave Creek Campground

On March 3rd we left Pioneer RV Park where we had been stuck four months because of Eliot's neck surgery and moved over to Cave Creek Regional Park, a nice campground run by Maricopa County. It is very popular and has less than 40 sites with electricity and water and allows campers to stay in one site only two weeks. However after two weeks you can move to overflow which is also where new campers have to go when the park is full and then you get on a list. We came in on Wednesday making sure before we left Pioneer that our generator was working. Overflow was almost full to capacity (15) so we knew we would be there at least two nights. Eliot set up the satellite dish but of course we could only use the computers when the generator was on. On day four we finally got a site and now have electricity but it has just started raining so we don't know how long it will be before the weather interferes with our satellite reception. So whether (no pun intended) or not this will get posted tonight is to be seen. The sites are well separated and nicely set in the Sonoran Desert with abundant flora and fauna and well maintained trails. Eliot did a five mile hike today and his knee is now complaining loudly but I just walked around the campground for half an hour and did some chores. On Monday we will drive the truck down to Los Algodones, Mexico. Actually park on this side of the border at a parking lot run by the local Indian tribe and walk into Los Algondones to buy medicines which are so much cheaper than they are here. We will also check out some dentists. The town caters to Americans looking for cheaper medicine, dentists, liquour and opticians. Two years ago I got 12 crowns for under $2,000. I'm not entirely happy with them but couldn't possibly afford them in the states. I noticed the dentist I went to is no longer listed. Earlier I had gotten two crowns from another dentist which were quite satisfactory. But Eliot needs implants so we will make sure that they are well recommended dentists and we will check out the facilities.
Eliot closes on the house in Chino Valley on March 15th and hopes to leave for our trip to Alaska by May 1st.
I will try to get some pictures of the campground or trails on the computer so I can post them on the blog.

Monday, February 22, 2010


A year before I met Eliot he went to Alaska. As soon as his wife died he sold his house and bought a Class A motor home and a Chevy Tracker to tow. He had taken his marriage vows quite seriously and although he would leave his wife for two weeks at a time to go hiking, he always called her and came back every two weeks to check on her although for 7 years they didn't have marital relations and said they were like two strangers. He hiked alone and then for two years with Tom, another hiker he met. He never had a girlfriend during those 7 years but after his wife died he did meet a woman at a campground and was with her more or less for nine months but she wanted to move to Missouri and also resented it went he went hiking with Tom. So he gave up on her. Then he found me on Yahoo personals with the keyword "hiking." And boy did we hike that summer and fall in the Canadian Rockies and then back in the states often with Tom. And we fell in love. I followed him in my little RV and then he asked me if I wanted to go to Australia. We traveled for almost 6 months all around Australia in a Land Cruiser with a pop-up top with a bed I had to make up every night and we didn't kill each other and we learned how best not to push each others buttons. So when we came back to the states I sold my RV and moved in with him. And the next five years we did lots of hiking and when he hurt his knee he bought ATVs so we could ride them as far as the wilderness and then hike in the wilderness, many times with Tom. I wish I had kept track of all the wildernesses we hiked in. We also went to New Zealand and Hawaii one winter and back to Australia for another six months and one winter the Gulf Coast from Big Bend to Big Thicket. That was the year before Hurricane Ike so we were hoping to go back this winter to see how different things would be. But I've already told the story of this winter in Phoenix and Eliot's neck surgery. For four years we were hosts at Pole Creek Lake Campground where I started this blog last summer. Since I said no more Pole Creek Lake Eliot said okay but we'll go to Alaska instead. He had a wonderful time the first time he went. So I'm willing to try it. My brother lives on the Long Beach Penisula in southwest Washington so I'm pretty sure we'll make it that far and hopefully into B.C. and who knows maybe we'll make it all the way to Alaska. And that's why I needed to go on anti-depressant medication and knowing we have someplace to come back to also helps. And I have to go with him because I owe him so much. He's taken me to places I never would have seen. And he's really very nice even if he's a Republican! We both miss Tom, He came up to Pole Creek Lake the first summer we were there and we were hoping to see him when we went to Texas since he lived in Oklahoma. He had been at Big Bend not long before that but wasn't feeling good. He put off going to the doctor until he turned 65 and had Medicare. But it was too late. He had metatasized lung cancer that was already in his brain and was dead in six months. So why not go to Alaska.

Maybe Karin returns

I was afraid after my last post I'd get no comments. I'm grateful for the support Bobbie and WWW. Yes, when real stuff happens you have to deal with I usually can handle that because the adrenalin (I think the British say adrenalin and we say epinenepherine) starts to flow. That's always been my problem, not so much not enough serotonin but too much reuptake of the norepinepherine in the synapses (I once worked for a neuroleptic psychiatrist and typed his whole book on neuroleptic drugs). One shrink I had said one reason depressed people lived on the edge was to make the adrenalin flow. And I've sure done some risky things in my life and a lot of stupid things. I realized after reading Eric Berne ( the transactional analyis inventor) how I played games and even figured out my life script when I took a course on TA but it wasn't until I went on medication that I could change my behavior. I knew it was time to do something now because I could only remember the stupid stuff and kept beating myself up when there actually was a lots of good times and good things I did. I loved working in a nursing home and helped many people over to the other side and in my better moments I can feel the presence of those guardian angels up there in the collective unconscious.
Eliot wants to take the 5th wheel to Alaska this summer but first he's buying an anchor home, a singlewide Manufactured home in an over 55 development in Chino Valley, 15 miles north of Prescott, AZ. We close March 15th so maybe we'll get to stay in it a month before traveling and that also makes it possible for Eliot to possibly get a knee replacement when we get back because there's no way he could recover from that in the 5th wheel. and it will be a place to stay when we can no longer travel. And I think he's mainly doing this for me for which I am very grateful. We've had a wonderful six years but this seventh since he hurt his neck has been very difficult.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Shutter Island

I shouldn't ever watch movies that have to do with insanity. There's just to many times in my life when I felt close to the edge and two of children were even hospitalized with brief manic episodes but I've never been manic. From adolescence on I felt either okay or not okay, meaning depressed. The closest I ever came to euphoria were at the births of my children. I always say those were the three best times of my life. and occasionally something would happen that would make me feel good for a couple of weeks, once a workshop with Paul Winter. Those times I was Karin, the other times I was Narren, the not okay Karin. I went to many therapists until I was finally put on medication. But I haven't been taking anything for quite a while but last week asked my PCP if I could try Cymbalta because I've been either depressed or anxious or worse like not wanting to wake up in the morning. He also wanted me to add tamotrigine which you have to start out very slowly because of the possibility of a life-threatening situation starting with a rash. It's supposed to even one out, yeah, like I'm ever going to become manic just because two of my children had manic episodes but they hadn't slept for four nights and my daughter had been on drugs. And now I have headaches. So I'm stopping the tamotrigine because it's more likely to be from that and not the Cymbalta and if there's one thing worse than being depressed it's a headache.
I actually was feeling better from the Cymbalta until I saw Shutter Island. The day before we watched a DVD "National Lampoon presents Repli-Kate"and I couldn't stop laughing for 5 minutes after the movie.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

more about downloading

Eliot thinks it might be the downloading of automatic updates that takes a lot of MBs so now we've just told the computers to first let us know before downloading any updates.

Hope that fixes the problems because I'd hate not reading everybody's blogs.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

more about downloading

It's after midnight when the fair access policy isn't in effect so I took a look at some of the blogs and many days are downloaded not justs the recent posts. This morning for less than an hour I had 89MBs. And now when I looked at the blogs I counted like as many as 20 pictures from a single download but still 89MBs sounds like too much since when I checked the properties on the pictures it looked liked it would take 15 pictures to make 1MB. So we don't know what's going on.

downloading overload

We have this problem with our satellite connection. we live in a 5th wheel and have this portable dish that picks up a Hughes network satellite and they have a "fair access policy" which means you can only download 200MB a day and we don't know why we're exceeding this limit which we do quite often lately. I asked Eliot if my downloading other people's blogs that have lots of pictures might be a reason. I don't know how many bytes downloading a picture is but I though it was in a KB category. So I'm going to view a lot of your blogs now while Eliot isn't using his computer so we can see how much it takes while I'm doing this as we can see by the hour how much is downloaded. If any of your are computer nerds and can give me an answer to this problem, let me know. Now I'm going to look at all your blogs.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

A little bit more of Ireland

My fondest memories of Ireland include miles of fushia hedges in bloom along the side of the road and walking out on the moor and finding a ewe on her back with a bockety leg. I turned her right side up and she hobbled away on three legs but no way was she going to survive because there were no shepherds. The sheep were just splotched with a color for whom they belonged to and sent out on the moor. Some must have dropped off cliffs and come to other bad ends. I was walking by myself at sunset. My husband preferred to sit and drink and talk to some other talkative drunken Irishman. He was fine when he wasn't drinking and we had many nice hikes that first trip but after the first drink he was lost to me.
The most beautiful sunset I ever saw was on the shore I think it was an island we took a boat to off the west of Ireland and the sunset was mirrored on the waves slowly making their way up the beach. We also had the best salmon I ever ate there.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Ireland - first post

I married an Irish orphan. His father died when he was 10 and his mother when he was 16 after a long illness. His father was born in County Roscomon and his mother in County Lietrim (sp?). That's all he knew. He had two paternal uncles, one whom he lived with till he was 18 and who stole his social security money and one who was a bartender in Brooklyn but never learned anything from them about his heritage. We went to Ireland in 1957, and again in 1965 to search for the place where his father came from. He did remember the name of a town in Roscomon that was mentioned sometime in his youth. The first time we didn't find it but had a great time anyhow because there was a bus strike and we hitchhiked throughout the country meeting a lot of interesting people and did a lot of hiking (with ponchos) because it rains every day, not usually long or much but that's why Ireland is so green. The second time we rented a car and found the town that he remembered and was sent to an old priest who was supposed to know everybody in the County and ended up at a farmhouse owned by Mitch (I can't remember his last name ) who was the son of Amy Doyle, one of the three sisters of his father who had never emigrated and found out that Mark had 21 first cousins he never knew existed because no one ever told him that his father had three sisters.
It was still a quite primitive place by US standards, a big stove where you built various wood fires depending on what you were cooking or baking. I think there was a water pump in the kitchen but the barn was used for elimination by people as well as animals. Mitch was married to a nurse, Eileen and they had four children, more to come later. The toddler didn't wear diapers just ran around with a bare bottom learning early to head to the barn. They were quite self-sufficient living off the few acres they had but there was very little cash for anything that needed to be bought. They served us dinner in the parlour which was only used for special occasions. Maria, the oldest girl called it the Christmas room. Mitch's sister drove down late in the evening. She had been engaged to a man with whom she was going to emigrate to the U.S. but he had been killed in an automobile crash driving down to the homestead. So we waited quite anxiously for her late arrival. She did later marry another man and they did emigrate to Brooklyn and had two girls who competed in Irish dancing. We found out about more of the cousins and later visited one in Dublin who with his family during tourist season lived in a tent in the backyard, renting out rooms in the house as a bed and breakfast. In those days in the UK and Ireland the cheapest way to travel was to stay at a bed and breakfast, usually just a room or two in somebody's house. Not at all like the fancy bed and breakfast places you find nowadays here in the states.
There's much more to say about Ireland and also about Mark's brothers and sister whom he had no contact with till our daughter, Mary Ellen started writing to her cousin Mary Ellen (both named after their Irish grandmother because Mark's sister got our address from Eileen with whom I stayed in touch.
More later. Eliot wants to watch a DVD.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Language etc and so forth

It all started a while back, weeks maybe a month or more when I thought I needed to do something about my dendrites, you know those little electric charges that join one nerve cell to another in the brain (something like that - I'm no neuroscientist) but I had heard learning a new language was supposed to be an excellent brain exerciser. So I looked up Esperanto. There's actually a free website for those who would like to learn. I had given up on Spanish for more reasons than I want to go into now and flirted with Portugese after meeting Celeste Maia in cyberspace. Being the scatter brain I am I did pick up some interesting facts about Esperanto but then when reading a comment on Friko's musings in German I thought why not try to go back to the one foreign language I was most familiar with (encouragement from Friko). My late husband taught German and I spent some time in Germany and Austria. Actually bicycled from Munich to Bremerhaven when I was 20 (Now that's another blog post there) but never became fluent (I'm an excellent example of a dilettante, dabbler, a subject 101 person never becoming proficient at anything). So I'm at the library in the 433's . There's some German books but right next to them is this interesting title "Words on Fire, The Unfinished Story of Yiddish." A little background here. I come from a mixed marriage. My Mother was a Deutschejudin, that is her grandparents were Jews that came from Germany and practiced Reformed Judiasm but immmigrated during an enlightened period of German history and considered themselves German as much as Jewish and spoke German. We always had a Christmas tree considering it to be a German tradition rather than a religious one. A little hard for my father to get used to because his parents were Yids, that is eastern European Jews, actually coming from or more appropriately running from Russia. They spoke Yiddish and came from an orthodox Judiasm tradition. As a result we actually practiced no religion just knew we were Jewish. My twin brothers did become bar mitzvah but only after a crash course because my Yiddish grandparents were still alive. My younger brother didn't have to because they died before he was 13. Ironically, he was the only one of the five of us to marry a Jewish person.
Where was I? In the library! So I ended up taking out "Words on Fire" and "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Learning Yiddish." Oy vey, how long will I stick with this? Especially since I'm also reading two other books at the same time, one of which is "Consililence, The Unity of Knowledge" by Edward O. Wilson, the pioneer of sociobiology and biodiversity. He's been my guru ever since I read his "On Human Nature." I was delighted that he devotes many pages to Condorcet of whom I've written earlier and only just became familiar with.
Wilson says "In education the search for consilience is the way to renew the crumbling structure of the liberal arts. During the past 30 years the ideal of the unity of learning, which the Rennaissance and Enlightenment bequeathed us, has largely been abandoned. ...Every college student should be able to answer the following question: What is the relationship between science and the humanities and how is it important for human welfare? Every public intellectual and political leader should be able to answer that question as well. ...The same is true of the public intellectuals, the columnists, the media interrogators, and think-tank gurus."
I could go back to being a jaded old lady but I remember how impressed I was when I first read Wilson and became aware that if we realized how much of human behavior is based on our DNA. In the beginning we had to believe our tribe was better than the other tribe in order to survive. But we're not hunter-gatherers any more. Or according to Dawkins we also have to overcome evolution or some such thing. I'd have to look him up again.
Oh, maybe I should go back to being a jaded old lady.
...and so it goes

Thursday, February 4, 2010


Am I in my right mind or is it my left mind but I joined Friko's Fridge Soup. I don't even have enough time to write a post on this blog and I don't have enough time to read all the blogs I want to follow, officially or not. And now I just got 4 more books from the library in addition to the book that I think I'm rereading. Ah, but this is good if only I can keep it upbeat and that's by not following the news. I think I might have offended Eliot by telling him I wasn't interested in his nattering on about politics and I'm sorry our interests are different although we both do like Hitchcock. I also found a DVD at the library which we both just watched "Frenzy" a really good old Hitchcock which of course was digitally upgraded so that you think you're watching a new movie. I remember when I lived in Rochester, NY the Eastman House had archives of old movies which were kept in ideal storage condition so as not to deteriorate as old films did and once a week they would show an old one in their small movie theatre. I wonder what they're doing now at Eastman House. When I lived there they did what I though was terrible. Someone thought that Eastman House should look like it did when George Eastman lived there but the Copper Beech on the front lawn had grown so huge you couldn't see the house. It was a magnificent tree but they cut it down. East Avenue on which Eastman House is located is a very wide street and across the street was another copper beech probably planted at the same time. After the tree in front of the house was cut down I noticed that the tree on the opposite side of the street started to look poorly and in time it died. I'm not a botanist but I know instinctively that those two trees were joined together in some way deep down in the earth. Rochester has great trees, an urban forest with trees planted along all the streets. The ice storm (I believe it was in 1991) did so much damage and so many huge old trees were taken down because they were said to be dangerous but I'm sure many could have been saved with judicious pruning. This post started out as something else but then I remembered my love affair with trees.
It's getting late. I just made a cup of sleepy time tea and now I'll see what some of my blog friends are up to.

Sunday, January 31, 2010


I finally figured how to use gadgets to add pictures to my sidebar although I haven't been able to figure out how to rearrange them in the order I'd like. I also changed my about me but had to shorten it because they kept on saying it was too long. But in the long run it doesn't really matter. Some days it seems that nothing matters but making it through one more day without doing anymore harm. I seem to realize more and more that the dichotomy in the world strengthens with every day. And the other side keeps (the one I'm not on) gets stronger as the voices on our side die out. RIP Howard Zinn. I wanted to print here what Zinn wanted to be remembered for but for whatever reason I can't paste in my blog. Does anybody know why?

Friday, January 29, 2010

Losing it

I got a notice from the library that two of the books I put on hold were in. So Eliot agreed we could go to the library combining it with a meal at Souper Salad and a movie at the second run theatre which we hadn't seen. I said the movie was one that we had seen. He couldn't remember it. But I said there's another movie there we haven't seen.
We get to the library. I find two items on the hold shelf with my name. One is a CD instead of the book I ordered and the other one is a completely wrong book. I head over to the reference desk and get on line. The librarian (or is she a clerk) says they were overwhelmed with books being shipped to the branch yesterday and since they're overworked due to cutbacks in staff because of the economic downturn all kinds of mistakes happened. So we go over to the held book shelves and she says look for other books that have the same date. I found it first because I knew it was a big book. A sigh of relief. The CD was my mistake apparently because when I put the book on hold I must have checked the "CD" instead of "book." You have to be so careful these days because so many books these days are put on CDs. (I know my brother always listens to a book when he does his early morning walk.) The clerk/librarian corrects the CD business and puts me #1 for on hold for the "book" and checks out the other book for me so I don't even have to go to the automated check out desk (Where have I been when all this technology took over the library and the rest of the world - oops I'm blogging on the internet!?!) So now I don't have time for the other stuff I wanted to look up in the library because we have to go to Souper Salad so we can go to this movie. When we get to the movie we actually see a preview of the movie Eliot says he doesn't remember seeing which I know we've seen. I laugh at how he can't remember movies he just saw. "Oh, you must have slept through it" say smarty pants. We get home and I open the book I just checked out from the library and know from the first sentence that I've already read this book, probably last summer at Pole Creek Lake, although I can't remember the rest of the book but with each sentence I read I remember I've read it before although I don't know what the next sentence will say. No smarty pants remark from Eliot.
I emailed the Carnegie Foundation saying libraries around the country need help and since Carnegie originally founded the free libraries, isn't there something they can do? I don't know whom I can email about my memory and should I read the book again? I think I'll do hoping at some point it will come back to me so I don't have to read all 500 pages.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Sunshine for Women

I want to share a wonderful website I found: which I found when searching for "Advice to My Daughter" by the Marquis de Condorcet because she has it referenced on her site. Now I have to get back to "Cat's Cradle" to find out if I want to become a Bokononist. I found out on page 63 that if I were a Bokononist I would agree gaily to go with Eliot to Alaska because Bokonon says "Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God."
I also should mention another Jungian moment of synchronicity. I just finished Nevada Barr's Winter Study. The last two lines are:
"So we play God?" Jonah asked.
"People always play God," Anna said. "There's nobody else to do it."
Then I started "Cat's Cradle" The first line is "Call me Jonah"
Somehow I'll have to find out if Nevada Barr is a Bokononist or at least a fan of Vonnegut.
I think there's a third part to this synchronicity in the fortune cookie I got but I'll have to read further in "Cat's Cradle"

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Marquis de Condorcet

The Marquis de Condorcet whom I quoted in my last post also wrote a pamphlet on the equality of women in about 1787. He is a key figure in the Enlightenment and seems to be almost completely forgotten. Here I am 72 years old, a freethinker, formerly active in women's rights and I never heard of him. But now every time Eliot says "it's human nature" when I get upset about another shortcoming of the human race I come back with the Condorcet quote "social evils are the result of ignorance and error rather than the inevitable consequence of human nature."
Does ignorance and error cover greed and pride and the thirst for power and whatever other "deadly sins" are hanging around. Why do enlightened sentient beings end up in prison or assasinated? Why is progress associated with growth and when did acquiring "wealth" become the end all?
If I think about Haiti or politics my grip on sanity starts to weaken .
So I think I'll become a one woman campaign to get Condorcet recognized and taught in woman studies classes and read all of Kurt Vonnegut. I have no idea how to to the first thing but I do know how to rserve books at the Phoenix library. However, I had a fortune cookie in a Chinese buffet yesterday that said I would have a pleasant trip to a faraway place. Does that mean I'm going to Alaska or the Thanisphere (refer to short story by Vonnegut in Bagombo Nuff Box).
And so it goes.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Rice Cakes, books, and so it goes

Quaker makes "Chocolate Crunch" rice cakes. They have 60 calories in each piece and 14 cakes in two packages of 7 each. They are coated with some kind of chocolate liquor and have tiny chocolate chips and should be in 7 packages of 2 each so I wouldn't eat 7 at a time.
Alexander McCall Smith's books about the female Scottish philosopher are in the Isabel Dalhousie series. The first one is called "The Sunday Philosophy Club" The book I just read about a woman in WWII is called "La's Orchestra Saves the World" I would give a star to that one WWW. I noticed on your list that Brooklyn by Colm Toibin didn't have a star. His book "The Blackwater Lightship" you might like more. In fact I think I quoted from it in a earlier blog entry. It is about 3 generations of women: grandmother, mother and daughter, who don't get along but who are forced through circumstances to have to deal with a problem.
I came across a quote today by a an 18th century Frenchman whom I'd never heard of: "social evils are the result of ignorance and error rather than an inevitable consequence of human nature" He also said something about continually progressing toward a perfect utopian society would require unifying regardless of race, religion or culture. I think he died in prison and so it goes.
My two favorite humanists are Kurt Vonnegut and Edward O. Wilson which reminds me that I have to see if the Phoenix Library has Wilson's latest book.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Eliot's decision

Well, it seems that Eliot has made a decision. We will try to go to Alaska. He says that what he is scared stiff of is settling down. It seemed for a while like that might be a choice. We had driven over to Laughlin and Eliot did fine on the drive, only had trouble sleeping in the hotel probably because he didn't have the soft pillow he uses here in the 5th wheel. Eliot likes to go to Laughlin now and then to play the slot machines and see a cheap comedy show and eat at the terrible buffets. I usually go up to the room early and read or watch TV if there's anything on to watch (Laughlin is the poor man's Las Vegas so they don't have many TV stations on whatever cable they have) after I have lost the money Eliot gave me to play the slots.
There have been many chapters in my life. When I lived with Brian we would eat reasonably and go to symphonies at the Eastman Theatre and bicycle a lot. I remember in the summer when Brian was still working sometimes I would make sandwiches and as soon as he came home we would get on our bicycles and ride to the Barge Canal bicycle path and have our supper. When I was married in Arkansas I would make a picnic supper and pick up Mark, my husband, in the VW mini van with the three kids and we would go to one of the lakes. I couldn't take Mark home first because being an alcoholic as soon as he got home he would have a beer and we would never make it out to a lake so that's why I picked him up. Of course, I brought the beer along for him. He never had a driver's license. Somewhere along the line I knew he should never be able to drive and being a good co-dependent it also kept him dependent. I didn't know any of this at the time. Only years later did I find out about it in therapy.
Back to now and Eliot. It's rather wierd being almost completely powerless in a relationship. Anyhow when we were in Laughlin we looked at a condo. I don't think the one we saw was foreclosed but there were a lot of bargains around and we also looked at houses across the river in Bullhead City that had been foreclosed. Although I have no power in this relationship I made it clear that there was no way I was going to end up in one of these houses in Bullhead City and was not crazy about a condo in Laughlin but would go along with that (unenthusiastically). Back to Phoenix. Eliot knew that I thought the RV park we stayed at in Prescott Valley would be my preference if we had to settle down but he was not in favor of that but found a manufactured home community in Prescott just outside of the National Forest in the foothills with great bargains and we looked at the homes there. Although some of the homes were quite cheap and one even had a great view and there were trees all around but the monthly lease was extremely high. He said if he were to die first I couldn't afford it. I said no problem, I'd rent out the second bedroom or get a job in Walmart. I said if he had to settle down it would seem like a place he could deal with. You could walk right into the forest trails from the community.
As I said Eliot is scared of settling down. His desire is to drop dead of a heart attack while hiking.
I used to be scared of that and thought that he was kind of selfish. Like what do I do with your dead body out in the wilderness. I lived through this past summer at Pole Creek Lake and we made it out and got back to Phoenix and Eliot has had his neck surgery. He has to go back to the cardiologist in February after blood tests after using these new medications he started and I guess unless there's something wrong we'll plan on traveling again probably sometime in March. My son Patrick should be coming out to Arizona in February. I did tell Eliot that I didn't want to leave before Patrick came out.
And on the way up to British Columbia I want to stop at my brother's on the Long Beach Peninsula in Washington. Perhaps we'll make it to Alaska. At least if we travel we'll eat better. Eliot loves to go to buffets so here we end up at the Golden Corral or Souper Salad and have one big meal besides breakfast which seems to agree with Eliot's constitution but not at all with mine.
Now I'm reading Slaughter House-Five.
And so it goes.
I just finished a book by Alexander McCall Smith unlike any of the books I've read by him. I've read all the No. 1 Ladies Dectective Agency books he's written which take place in Botswana and most of his novels about the Scottish woman philosopher but this one "La's Orchestra Saves the World" takes place mainly in England during WWII.
And so it goes.
I guess I will have to find my pluck.
One more thought: I so admire Bobbie and would have liked to have been a good person and mother like she is. I agreed with her other followers that it sounds like her daughter is like an apple that didn't fall far from the tree. To console myself I've decided that my wonderful son, Patrick, is my apple and that my daughter, Mary Ellen, must be her father's apple! As for Jake, my older son, he is unique. I'll have to write about him someday.

Thursday, January 7, 2010


Resolutions? I actually knew someone who would not just make New Year's resolutions but actually make a five-year plan and revise it each year as necessary. How about a five week plan? Or maybe just five day? And I could revise it each day as necessary! Which of course it would be necessary since I'd probably forget by day 2 what I had resolved to do or not do the day before. Hmm? Is it better to be positive and say what I would do rather than not do? I used to actually believe in positive thinking and can remember practicing it.
1. I will think positively
2. I've already broken, I was going to limit myself to 2 or at most 3 chocolate rice cakes but while watching Chocolat on DVD I ate all 7 that were left!
3. I'll think about that tomorrow (not rice cakes, # 3).
Now I will have a cup of Sleepy Time tea and hope Eliot will feel as good tomorrow as he did today. He says his shoulder feels better than it has the past two weeks. He is more cheerful when he feels better.
I just thought of a # 3 - I will forgive myself for bad thoughts especially the ones I have when Eliot is not cheerful. Also the bad thoughts I have about myself especially after I eat too much.
But at least it was only rice cakes!
I just finished reading Kati Marton's "The Great Escape" subtitled Nine Jews who Fled Hitler and Changed the World. They were all Hungarian Jews who were born in the brief "Golden Age of Budapest" I understand that in Hungary it was subtitled Nine Hungarians... since no one would buy it with the other subtitle. What troubles me the most is the quote from "The Third Man": "In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed. They produced Michelangelo, Leonardo and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy, and they produced the cuckoo clock." I have heard this in various forms many times over my lifetime. Ah, #4 Stop dwelling on what a mess homo sapiens have made of the natural order of this planet as well as forgiving myself for being part of the problem.
What happened to #1: positive thinking. Boy is that going to go down the tubes because the next 5 books I'm going to read are all by Kurt Vonnegut,
And so it goes.