Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
My twin brothers were born in August of 1941 and I thought I remembered everything after that (I was 4) but I don't remember Pearl Harbor, I remember more after I was 6 and we moved to a house which made it a longer walk to school. We bought victory stamps in school which we pasted in a book until we had enough to buy a victory bond. We had blackout curtains on the windows and air raid drills. After all this was Brooklyn. We were right on the east coast and then there would be search lights in the sky during the drills. You could look out the window if all the lights were out. And we could hear antiaircraft shots from Floyd Bennett Field. I guess they were just for practice because I don't think any enemy airplane made it to New York. I remember asking my Mother why God didn't stop Hitler but I don't remember her answer. My father wasn't drafted because he was 4F. He couldn't pass the physical mainly because of his eye sight. My uncle was in the army but I don't think he saw any combat. We had ration books (I especially remember the extra ration book we got when my baby brother was born in April 1945 and my mother used it to by shoes for one of the twins) and it was almost impossible to get any fresh meat. I remember going with my Mother pushing the twins in the stroller to a store that was reported to have lamb patties. We didn't have any relatives in Europe but somehow I knew that Jews who were there had to get out. It's hard to know what I knew then and what I found out later. The Long Island railroad tracks were just a few blocks away and we would walk down the hill and wave at the soldiers in the trains going by. Gasoline was rationed and only people like doctors could get it. They came to your house when you were sick. Milk was delivered by a horsedrawn wagon. I remember when Roosevelt was elected for his fourth term and that he died before the war was over.
Everything (wow, no italics! wonder what that was all about) is kind of fuzzy after that, what I knew at the time and what I learned later. Do I remember VE day? Do I remember VJ? I remember Truman firing MacArthur but that was after the war when MacArthur was disobeying orders from Truman. Maybe that's when I really became aware of the dichotomy in the US between liberals and conservatives or probably I thought at the time between smart people like us (liberals) and ignorant people that sang "Old Soldiers Never Die" It wasn't just Democrats and Republicans because my maternal grandfather wouldn't vote for the corrupt local Democrats that were part of the machine that ran NY at that time but in general I guess I believed that Democrats were for the little people and Republicans were for the rich people. Times were so different then. My grandparents lived with us because they had lost everything in the depression. Songs I knew were like "the rich get richer and the poor get children" but I also knew anti-union songs (which I'm trying very hard now to remember) about the union leaders working for the bosses and not for the workers and I also knew some people who made it rich during the war. So as I might have mentioned somewhere along the line I was not a happy kid because most of the grown-ups I knew I didn't admire. My grandfather was the only man I thought well of. Although he had lost everything, he still had his dignity, his love (I thought especially for me), and his sense of humor. I spent a lot of time with him probably because my mother had her hands full with my older sister and my twin brothers and my father was never around except on Thursdays. He worked nights six days a week at the family "candy" store on the lower east side of Manhattan. It was a stand-up soda fountain which sold the orginal "eggcream" My father made the chocolate syrup every night in the basement of the store and used eggs and carnation evaporated milk. Austers claim on the internet that they invented the eggcream. Somehow I have to correct that. So a lot was going on besides WWII when I was a child. Now if I could write about it coherently...
I can't think of all the things I was going to blog about and now it's late but at least I think I figured out how to get on.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
The challenge now will be listening to Eliot's bitching about having "to rot in the RV park" till it heals. I just reminded him that he was thrilled after the surgery that everything went so well. Nights are going to be a challenge. There's really very little room in the 5th wheel bedroom. He said he practiced the logroll with the physical therapist. That was before I got back to the hospital this morning so I just can't picture it.
Driving back last night from the hospital I put on NPR and they were playing Johnny Mercer songs nonstop since it was his 100th birthday. And then going down this morning I listened to the Diane Rhiems (sp?) show. I got all my old cassette tapes out of storage so I can listen to them when we travel so I can block out Eliot's talk shows. My cassette player has bigger ear pieces. The cheap MPs player I bought I can't get loud enough and you have to stick those things into your ears. It's a challenge living with a conservative.
Hey, it's a challenge being 72. What I need to do is to get back to writing about some of the great things I did in my life and other challenges I've had. After all I can remember WWII. Maybe I should write about that. It would probably be good for my memory to try to see what I can remember.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
I wrote the above yesterday. Today I just want to whine so if anybody is reading this you can stop now because all the rest is whining.
Yesterday I went to the eye dr since it's been over two years and my mother and grandmother had glaucoma and I've had cataract surgery. Everythings okay but I just hate the dilated pupils and going to drs in general and today we had to go back to Eliot's PCP for approval for the surgery and she wants him to have oxygen at night which he of course thinks is stupid so we're not answering the phone during the day since someone is supposed to call to set that up. In the meantime I can't get hold of my son Patrick whom I can only call after 9 o'clock when we have free time on the cell phone. I used to also contact him on the Pocketmail website which is now non-functional and he hasn't been on Facebook lately and the past two nights I got his answering machine. I just took a Valium.
I'm also sorry I look at the news on the computer because it's all so depressing.
And I don't know why I'm writing all this anyhow. I just want a hug and somebody so say "there, there" I'm not looking forward to next week and Eliot's surgery. Two more hours till I can try to call Patrick. If I reach him I'll feel better. One thing I learned from my mother is to worry. I wish I had learned something useful.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
That was yesterday! I tried the old computer this morning and the first thing it wanted to do was install updates which I did and then I connected to the internet!?! and here I am on the old computer. How long this is going to last I don't know. Eliot thinks it's temporary.
Now yesterday I wrote a lot more but it didn't autosave like this one always did every few minutes and when I went to publish it, the internet connection crashed. I think I'll try to publish this before rewriting what I wrote yesterday. I just noticed it hasn't autosaved for the last 4 minutes. So I will save it first and then try to publish it.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Today the big complaint is Pocketmail. Pocketmail is this handheld device that you can hold up to the phone to send and receive email which I got a long time ago when I was traveling alone. Actually it was a present at the end of a three month relationship with a first class asshole who I traded in for a poodle. Now that's a long story which I'll get into another time. Actually that's two stories: the asshole retired Air Force Lt Colonel and my 3 years with Cherie, my foster poodle.
So since we have satellite I use the Pocketmail website instead of taking the device to a phone. Some hacker or phisher messed up pocketmail and now I can't get my email from the website anymore. I actually have several emails besides the pocketmail but there were a number of people, mostly my family that I stayed in touch with through Pocketmail. So being Sunday (when our cell phone has unlimited minutes) I called everybody including my friend in Arkansas with whom I hadn't spoken in years. That was the high point of my day!
What pisses me off the most about not being able to access the website of Pocketmail is that I saved so many messages that chronicled our journeys which I never printed off and a lot of other stuff in various boxes and I've paid pocketmail through next May!
Maybe I shouldn't even be relying on this blog because of cyberwarfare!
Back to notebooks and pens. Fortunately I did keep a log but since I've been blogging I don't write much in it anymore except dr appointments and the names of the stupid movies we see and one other private matter :).
Friday, October 23, 2009
"He doesn't bark. I like dogs that don't bark. What's his name?"
"That's Teddy and I'm Joe. My wife is Edie. I'm Irish and she's Dutch. That doesn't amount to much. You new here?"
"We're just passing through. We'll be here for a month. You live here?"
"Now we do but we're from New Jersey. I drove a newspaper truck"
"I was married to an Irishman. He drank. When we were in Ireland they either drank or wore abstinent buttons"
"I don't need no button. Never touched a drop. On my route there would be tavern after tavern " Joe pointed "there and there and there and there, one after the other and they all asked me what"ll I have and I would say 'a coke'"
"Nice talking to you. I've got to go to the bathroom"
"See you around"
Next day I'm riding my bike and come across Joe and Teddy in the golf cart. I stop and say hello and scratch Teddy's head.
"So where do you and Teddy go"
"I take him up to the dog run. I was so mad. Somebody had a big dog who made this big turd and just left it there. How can people do that? I always pick up after Teddy"
"Yeah, some people are jerks. Especially people with big dogs. I hate it when I'm walking or riding my bike and a dog barks at me, like they should have special sections in the park for people with dogs. One lunged at me. Although he was on a leash, he scared the hell out of me and I almost fell off my bike. I reported it to the office."
"Why don't you come meet Edie. I'm Irish and she's Dutch and we don't amount to much"
I followed Joe on my bike and he called to Edie to come out. She came out on the porch. And Joe rode away with Teddy.
I remember looking up at her. She had very big nostrils. That's not very nice but that's what I remember most about her face.
"Joe says you're from New Jersey. I was born in Brooklyn. He said I should meet you"
"You know Joe has dementia. He takes medication but I can't let him go anyplace alone outside the park. We both use oxygen at night and always take it with us but don't take it into restaurants. We like to eat out a lot but they don't have good restauants here like they do in Jersey."
"Eliot doesn't like to spend more than $10 for a meal. He says he just wants to buy a meal, not the restautant. So we go to Golden Corral a lot for the early bird senior special. He likes buffets.
We used to go to Souper Salad but they closed."
"Yes, they closed 3 years ago. Times have changed. You can't get a meal for $10. $15 to $20 is the least these days" Then Edie listed a number of places where you can get a decent meal for that but I didn't pay much attention because I knew Eliot would never consider them.
When Eliot and I first met I would treat him once a month to a real restaurant meal on our monthly anniversary date but I stopped after a while because it wasn't any fun. He thought I was wasting my money and he would order the cheapest thing on the menu. And then we would have nothing to talk about while waiting for service. It's best when we eat at home in the RV. He makes everything in the microwave except for the frozen vegetables which he boils in a pot.
We usually have canned potatoes and either frozen chicken breasts, frozen fish or Boca burgers. When we first met I tried to cook for him but he didn't like anything I made and he won't let me use the oven. "It's for storage" he says. Like the bathtub even if we have full hookups.
"Nice meeting you Edie. I'd better get back"
"Stop by anytime"
The next morning I met Joe and Teddy and we chatted again.
"I'm Irish and Edie's Dutch and that doesn't amount to much" I used to drive a newspaper truck
and there were tavern after tavern and they asked me what I what I wanted and I always said 'a coke'"
Okay, I tried to write some dialogue. I never was any good at writing dialogue so I though I'd give it a try but then what happened. I got self absorbed again and started complaining. I do that a lot lately. Wow, I'm really into self-pity when I'm not doing the self-hatred bit. I'm good at both. But I did email my congresswoman. I tried calling her but her mailbox was full. It was about the public option. I got an email from Credo telling me that Giffords had not yet stated her position on Pelosi's robust Medicare+ 5% public option and I should tell her to support it. I also called my brother and my son, Patrick today. My whole family are Democrats and it's really hard living with a Republican so I had a good time with my brother. Eliot can't stand Barney Frank, like he's responsible for the mess we're in especially the housing bubble. My brother loves Barney Frank, says he's got 3 strikes against him. He's gay, Jewish and has a lisp. It's funny that Giffords is my rep in Congress. Up until April I was a registered voter in New York because my driver's license from New York which had been good for 9 years finally expired and I had to get an Arizona driver's license using my brother's address in Tucson which is my mailing address. So at least I have a Democrat representative in Congress. I've tried writing to my two Republican Senators, McCain and Kyl but that's like hitting my head against a brick wall. At least they know there's one voter in AZ who opposes their positions.
Now I guess I should try to remember the other three cross sabbats. I really didn't study Wicca very long and of course became disenchanted with it as I did with all organized religions. What I liked most was "Do as thou wilt but harm none" and I liked calling down one of the many (symbolic) Goddesses to assist me when I needed her help. Let's see there Lammas, that comes between the summer solstice and the fall equinox, probably some sort of harvest celebration. Beltane is the real fun one where you jump across the fire and go into the woods with a comvenient male for procreation. That's become May Day and comes between the spring equinox and the summer solstice. The fourth one is the one I always have trouble remembering. It's February 2nd. Imbolc I think. Now it's become Ground Hog's Day.
If you want to find out more, just Google Wicca.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
What we need now is some humor. New Jersey, that's a funny place. I read some comedian or actor - what's his name - is trying to sell his 30million$ house for 15million. I think it would make a nice old people's home. He should donate it to us. That should help his taxes. The taxes on the home are almost 200thoussand $ a year. Could we afford that? or maybe if we set it up as non-profit or make it into a church. The church of the Almighty Old Person. We could take turns being the Mother Goddess. Oh by the way, no males allowed especially not WASPs. They're definitely not PC these days. We'd probably have to put in some alterations, like a lift to get some of us in and out of the pool and we'd need a PT for the gym. What the hell would we do with the bowling alley? Any suggestions? Lots of room to plant yellow flowers for Mellow Yellow Monday and I have a friend who's into making houses green. Does that mean I can't paint my room purple? Actually I think I'd like rainbows. And only old comedies in the movie theatre except for Hitchcock. A few raunchy ones would be okay too especially if we could get Margaret and Helen to join us.
Monday, October 19, 2009
And then I finally figured out when I had to reset my password that I had been typing the number part of the password wrong!
And now I probably ought to go to bed because we have to get up before 6am because Eliot's stress test is at 7:20.
Most of my life I was in charge. I had a marriage where my husband drank and taught his students and I had to do everything else. He didn't even drive. And then the 12 years I lived with Brian he gradually broke away from my control. (We both had a lot of therapy.) And then I was on my own for five years driving my RV back and forth across the country. Now I feel completely helpless. I've never even driven the fifth wheel . We used to have a Class A motorhome which Eliot drove pulling the trailer with the quads and I drove a Tacoma truck following him. That wasn't bad except he refused to get CBs so some time he lost me because he wouldn't notice I wasn't behind him. But now we have a truck which pulls the fifth-wheel which pulls the trailer and I'm always the passenger. A few times I got to drive the truck like after he has a medical procedure and the day I went to the thrift shop by myself.
Sometimes I'm pretty depressed and wonder if it would be better just not to wake up some morning. But actually mornings are the best time. It's now late at night so I'll take a Valium and an Ambien and tomorrow will be another day.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Everyday two of the other children got to play with the big doll house. I was waiting for my turn. It never came. Lisa and I had to go to first grade after only a half year of kindergarten. I never asked Lisa if she ever got to play with the dollhouse. Okay I'm whining and making excuses for not having ever grown up just because I had only a half year of kindergarten. I use that excuse all the time especially when I get mixed up with right and left. "I told you to turn right instead of left because I only had half a year of kindergarten."
Okay so I'm scattered. I'm reading three books at once and then bought a dozen more at the thrift store so now I'm reading 5 books at once. Ah, but it's the one I read before I fall asleep that really matters. I got back to Jung last night and had fabulous dreams. It's always nice to find someone else who had a confusing childhood.
I even found a book for Eliot at Stepping Stones which is quite a feat because Eliot hasn't read a book since he was 12 years old that didn't talk about trails. It's about squirrels.
When I was barefoot and pregnant in Arkansas, well actually I wasn't pregnant anymore. It's another expression I use too much like "I only had half a year of kindergarten" like I'm trying to be Andy Rooney or Sam Levinson. So the three children and I would go to the library once a week and get lots of books. Half of mine would be for my husband. This was one of the few things I could do to please him besides buy his Irish Whiskey.
Mark (my husband) and Eliot (my current paramour - a word I introduced to his illiterate family and friends at his granddaughter's 23rd birthday party last week) are so different they could belong to different species: homo intellectus and homo hikeus.
Oops, did I mention I was scattered?
Off to the urologist, another funny guy who likes to stick a gidget up my widget (his expresssion , not mine). He has cartoons on the ceiling so that when you're lying on your back with your legs in those contraptions, you can read them and laugh instead of wince.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
So instead Eliot took a two hour walk through the RV park. It's a large park with mobile homes at one end. He probably had to make only two circuits while I got to go to Stepping Stones, one of the local thrift stores where for under $20 I got five shirts - two long sleeve and three short sleeve, a pair of nylon hiking pants and a dozen books. I love thrift stores. I almost never buy anything new. Utah has the best thrift stores in the country run by Deseret Industries (known as DI) the charity arm of the LDS church. Goodwill has gotten too expensive. The Salvation Army, DAV, and some of the others charities are variable. Some of the best buys can be hospital thrift stores because people die with lots of nice hardly used clothes and the stores are usually staffed by volunteers who underprice. Before I met Eliot and I travelled alone for 5 years I thought of writing a guide to thrift stores throughout the country. But now I hardly ever get to spend time in them. Not one of Eliot's favorite pasttimes.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
It's hard to believe that for six years before we became decrepit we hiked all the time. In fact we met through the keyword "hiking" on Yahoo Personals.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
I tried to figure out how I missed this wonderfully written post. I must not have known of you then when we were still in the mts and Eliot turned the generator off when he started his nighty campfires. I had an alcoholic husband also from whom I had been divorced and tried to help once, actually got him into VA rehab but after his second collapse our daughter rescued him but he didn't like living in the assisted living home she put him in and got a friend to get him out. He died six weeks later and I would have gone to his funeral but it was postponed 3 months because of the backlog at Arlington National Cemetery where his ashes finally ended up. I was far away by then as I had already become a gypsy (full-time RVer) but I should have flown back for the funeral for my daughter. That would be once less thing she'd have against me. I have recently begun reading Jung as I've always been interested in his idea of the collective unconscious and think he'd be thrilled with cyberspace where all our thoughts are floating around. I'm sure no one will read this because it's over a month late but it doesn't matter. I only afraid Anne (I call you Anne even though we don't know each other and you've never read any of my posts) that I'll never finish my library books including Memories, Dreams, Reflections because I'll be spending all my time reading your posts.
Yesterday we saw Eliot's cardiologist and his blood pressure is too high but he made a deal with the cardiologist not to put him on more powerful drugs till he can see if he can bring his blood pressure down by giving up beer. He usually drinks a six pack at night so he can sleep. He's sure now that he won't be able to sleep but did get some last night. He will be having more tests next week including a chemical stress test. He says he doesn't want his blood pressure to go down because he's afraid of the surgery. I know he's concerned about the surgery and I'm not sure how much to believe him. The high blood pressure would seem to me to be more of a problem.
We have three days that we don't have to go down to Phoenix and hope to do some hiking each day.
I wish I had more time to write and read other blogs as well as the three books I'm currently reading. Maybe I should hire a "life coach" I heard there are actually such people that make their living organizing other people's life. (I don't know how to put in one of those funny faces so I'll just say smile or laugh)
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Secondly the Wal-mart billionaires aren't making their money from Wal-mart. When Wal-mart was riding high and everybody was buying their stock, they took their money and invested it in other companies. Wal-mart stock is really down now but it won't effect their wealth. Things are not black and white. Wal-mart is not all good or bad. We shop there all the time because it's cheaper. Wal-mart didn't put the Mom and Pop stores out all by themselves and if a community wants to keep them out, they can by their votes.
I am basically against super capitalism and greed but also against fanaticism whether it's on the right or left.
I know stress reduction exercises but Eliot won't let me do any of this "new age" stuff on him. I tell him that there are scientific results that the relaxation response lowers blood pressure. He says all he needs to do to reduce stress is to go hiking so today we're going to go hiking at Lynx Lake.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
I had a cup of Earl Grey tea and decided I'd wait also to eat. My son, Jake, in Budapest is always telling me to go on juice fasts. He does it all the time usually for 3 days but sometimes longer. Did I ever mention that both my sons are vegetarians. Another short story!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
I'm thinking there's several short stories in there after reading about what a short story is by Nadine Gordimer. And the coming full circle I guess is that maybe I did learn something from that essay course I took at Writers and Books those many years ago, you know like there's got to be a point you're making, tying things together. Eliot says what's this thing about mothers and daughters. I said Freud figured it out but Eliot never even heard of Oedipus. All he knows about is hiking and stocks. I know I'd never get lost in the woods with Eliot. Now there's another short story.
Bobbie, It's finally comforting to have all these siblings especially my youngest brother who was only 11 when I got married and I only got to know 30 years later. I sure didn't feel that way many times in the past. Eliot is an only child and has only one son. It makes his life simpler. Maybe that's why he loves those Alvins so much.
But back to my siblings. I often wonder who's going to go first . My 75 year old sister who's in assisted living and can't walk and says her short term memory is shot. One of the twins who's 68, diabetic, had a quintuple bypass and parts of his esophogus and stomach and one kidney removed from cancer (diagnosed early), bad peripheral neuropathy and is in constant pain, takes 4 Vicodan a day but he's the patriarch. The other twin who was always the physical fitness nut and was a psychologist in the Air Force (now that's another story) but has chronic indolent leukemia, now in remission. My youngest brother who's 64 and travels all over the world (his wife used to have a tour guide business and is the daughter-in-law my mother my disliked) but is basically healthy and exercises a lot. He did have a failed hernia operation several years ago that perforated his intestine and was hospitalized a month. He also worries the most (after me) or will I be the first to go. My problems are not lifethreatening I think. I have peripheral neuropathy and might be pre-diabetic. Just started testing my blood sugar. My legs and feet swell and I wear elastic stockings. I have interstitial cystitis and don't empty my bladder so I'm prone to UTIs and have ulcerative proctitis which is currently in remission. Most of my problems are probably due to having been on a tricyclic anti-depression (desimpramine) for 7 years. The side effects were terrible but the half-empty glass was finally half-filled. I always thought my depression was caused by my seeing the pathology of the human race but it turned out to be the reuptake of norepinehrine in the synapsis. Or so they say. Anyhow now what keeps me alive is writing on my blog (and what saved me this summer when I sometimes felt that I'd rather not wake up in the morning) and finding all of you in cyberspace especially Bobbie and Celeste and now webwisewoman urging me to write. and all those other wonderful women whose blogs I read.
I wrote this this earlier but didn't post it right away because I wanted to ride my bicycle a little bit while Eliot walked and then Eliot wanted to go out to the early bird special at the Golden Corral (for those that don't know the Golden Corral is an all you can eat buffet that lures obese seniors in between meals). I thought this would be a good opportunity for me to see what would happen to my blood sugar if I just stayed away from the Dessert Bar and kept all other carbs to a minimum. I stuffed myself on green vegetables and salad with pine nuts and ham, a deviled egg and a bunless hot dog (they didn't have any sauerkraut - how can you eat a hot dog without sauerkraut?). My blood sugar was 107 right after the meal. I think that's okay. I'm keeping a log. My fasting blood sugar when I got up this morning was 84 and just 89 after a lowcarb breakfast.
Then we went to our storage shed because I told Mary Ellen I might have something about her Irish relatives. I didn't find what I was looking for but did find her little stuffed bear that she always took to bed and too many other old memories.
Monday, October 5, 2009
I also spoke to my sister who is in an assisted living place in Jackson, WY where her daughter lives. She is 3 years older than me and has fought MS since she was 24, actually having a child when she was 40. I was "yuck another girl" in the opinion of my paternal grandmother
and then when I was four years old my twin brothers were born and I learned that taking care of precious baby boys made me useful. Another boy was born four years later. My mother said we were all mistakes, that is, we weren't planned. My father was a compulsive gambler but died when he was 53, leaving my mother who was 49 penniless. She then made a life for herself, starting selling in a Sears store in Florida and ended up as their top decorator. When she retired from Sears at 65, she moved to Rochester, NY where my brother had just opened a Fabrics store and she started his "shop at home" business decorating many fancy homes. When I sold my house to Brian and bought my RV I took her in the RV to Tucson where my sister had just moved and my youngest brother had lived for years. She found a retirement home there and then I drove her in the RV to Florida where my brother for whom she had worked now lived and then after she sold her house in Rochester I took her in the RV back to Tucson by way of Sheridan, WY where the other brother now lived with his second wife. My mother loved traveling in the RV. This is beginning to sound like an autobiography. Write, write, write but should I be doing this on my blog. What is a blog anyhow? It started out as a windy weekend when I called all my relatives, I also spoke to all 3 brothers. My Mother died on Thanksgiving Day in 2002. I and all my siblings were there. We had come to celebrate Thanksgiving with her because she had turned 90 that July. She was in ICU by the time we all got there. So we pulled the plug on Granny. She had septicemia by then and the machine was doing 100% of her breathing. Every Thanksgiving now I feel I should light a Yarhzeit candle instead of eating turkey. Maybe this year I will.
Why am I writing all this. When I was around my daughter's age sometime in my 40's my brother (who had become the patriarch) sent me and my mother to my nephew's bar mitzvah in Tucson and my mother and I started talking about "our disagreements" especially over my sister-in-law and ended up crying into each others arms. So that's why I called my daughter.
Friday, October 2, 2009
We went back to Dr Field who showed us just what he does actually showing us what I had seen on You Tube. He removes the disc, clean up the vertebrae, grafts on a cadaver bone and then holds it in place with a metal thing which he screws in. When that is done (the metal plate) you don't need to wear a collar long. Field said he didn't even need to wear it at night. And last night we saw friend chiropractor Bill who first said he is against surgery except in Eliot's case. If he were a couch potato and was not going anyplace then he would say just get the shot and hang around but since Eliot wants to be active he should get the surgery even if the third shot leaves him pain free. Also he explained why he was sick after the fall. Toxins are released from the disc so we're thinking it must have herniated when he fell. He said the fusion is necessary because of the stenosis and agreed with Field that this is a good surgery especially since it's one level. I just hope Eliot follows through because as Bill said you don't want something happening in East Jesus, Nebraska and something like even a sneeze could cause a problem. He also made some suggestions about my problems so now I know what to ask Levy, my PCP, when I see him. Eliot will get one more cortisone shot Monday and if that goes okay I'll see Levy on Monday afternoon. I did see Maureen, my urologist, Hurm's nurse. She is wonderful. I should write about her on in another post. She did give me some cipro because there were some white cells but the culture results won't be in until Monday and then she got me fitted in to see Hurm on the 15th even though there was no room. You see in addition to my peripheral neuropathy and circulation problems (I wear elastic stockings), I have institial cystitis and also don't empty my bladder fully (which is why I get frequent UTIs) but Hurm said last time he did a procedure (he is so funny, talks about torture and putting a gidget up my widget) he said my bladder actually can hold up to 2 liters so sometimes, especially during a long movie, I just tell myself I don't really have to pee, it just feels like I do.
So it looks like Eliot will have surgery on Sept 21st. I'm optimistic. He's not.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
and then I think I said something about watching the Ken Burns documentary on the National Parks and commenting that the dollar always was king.
I know Eliot is very concerned but he wants to read all he can on the internet first before calling Bill or the doctor back. He's got an appointment with his PCP's PA and the new cardiologist next week. Thursday I'm going to see my PCP because I don't know how to handle all this . Eliot is reading all these horror stories on the internet about this kind of surgery. I don't know what he's going to do.
At least it's supposed to cool off tomorrow.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Tell Harry Reid: Don't let Max Baucus kill the public option.
Next week, the Senate Finance Committee is expected to start debating and voting on its health care reform bill. Of the five Congressional committees writing health care bills, this will be the only one not to include provisions for a public health insurance
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
"Imaginings, and resonances and pain and small longings and prejudices. They meant nothing against the resolute hardness of the sea. They meant less than the marl and the mud and the dry clay of the cliff that were eaten away by the weather, washed away by the sea. It was not just that they would fade: they hardly existed, they did not matter, they would have no impact on this cold dawn, this deserted remote seascape where the water shone in the early light and shocked her with its sullen beauty. It might have been better she felt, if there had never been people, if this turning of the world, and the glistening sea and the morning breeze happened without witnesses, without anyone feeling, or remembering, or dying, or trying to love. She stood at the edge of the cliff until the sun came out from behind the black rainclouds."
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Celeste Maia recognized me for my "pluck" and I love her image. It speaks to me on several levels. The moon has always been special to me since my Wiccan days and the figure holding the moon is for me definitely Jungian.
Celeste is a rare creature, so talented and so caring bringing joy into many lives. I am so honored that she found me on the mountain and gave me the courage to continue my pluck. I have so enjoyed her blog and the many blogs she has introduced me to. And how wonderful that she shares her paintings on her blog and website. I go to them often.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
The first photo is in Sulphur Canyon just outside Capitol Reef National Park which Eliot and I really like because not being a signed trail their are very few hikers on it and it cuts through many layers of the Colorado Plateau. The middle picture is actually in Capitol Reef. This whole area is part of what's called the Colorado Plateau although most of it is in Utah, actually roughly centered on the Four Corners region of the southwestern United States. It covers an area of 337,000 km (130,000 mi.) within western Colorado, northwestern New Mexico, southern and eastern Utah, and northern Arizona. About 90% of the area is drained by the Colorado River and its main tributaries; the Green, San Juan and Little Colorado.
In the southwest corner of the Plateau lies the Grand Canyon of the Colorado. Most of the Colorado Plateau's landscape is related, in both appearance and geologic history, to the Grand Canyon. The nickname "Red Rock Country" suggests the brightly colored rock left bare to the view by dryness and erosion. Domes, hoodoos, fins, reefs, goblins, river narrows, natural bridges and slot canyons are only some of the additional features typical of the Plateau.
The Colorado Plateau has the greatest concentration of national parks in the United States. Among its parks are Grand Canyon National Park, Zion National Park, Bryce Canyon National Park, Capitol Reef National Park, Canyonlands National Park, Arches National Park, and Petrified Forest National Park. Among the national monuments are Dinosaur National Monument, Hovenweep National Monument, Wupatki National Monument, Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument, and Colorado National Monument.
Eliot found on the internet the Laser Spine Institute based in Tampa Florida that says they can do endoscopic minimally invasive procedures to free pinched nerves and that they have an officer in Scottsdale, AZ. I wonder if anyone who reads this has heard about such procedures.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
I have to explain he thrill of receiving the award which might have seemed a little over the edge. When I was in first-grade in elementary school I had my gold stars taken away from me for a minor infraction which I didn't even know was wrong. Nobody had explained the rules to me. School from kindergarten up was a disaster for me. Celeste you don't know how lucky you were to be taught by your parents. I could write a whole long post about the tortures of childhood and the failure of public education in the US. When I was an usher one year at the UU Church in Rochester (I joked about it being called a church - I said it was a cover for subversive activities. It had little to do with religion, no dogma, inclusive of all believes and lifestyles - it was about community, love and service) I mentioned the gold star incident to the head usher. At the end of the year he handed me a card for good work done with gold stars all over it.
When we get back online I'll try to figure out how to send awards. I'm constantly finding new wonderful blogs to read.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Look what LadyLuz send me, an award. I don't know why. Don't think I deserve it and now I'm supposed to send it to 7 other blogs. I hope I can find seven other blogs who don't already have it. Maybe I can send duplicates. And I'm supposed to send 7 things about myself nobody knows:
1. I practiced social nudism for a while. It's great for body image. You don't find any beauty queens at family nudist camps, lots of happy kids running around as they were born, every thing hanging out naturally and skinny dipping beats bathing suits anytime. One does have to be picky about where to go. The Naturist Society is he best way to connect to family oriented camps. And many of them don't allow singles. It's best to be a member of a local club.
2. I volunteered two winters at the Bosque del Apache National Wildlife Refuge in New Mexico before I met Eliot. I learned a lot about birds and met some wonderful people. Didn't know until after I'd known Eliot for a while that he's been a birder his whole life.
3. I studied Transactional Analysis originated by Eric Berne and figured out my life script according to his method which helped explain a lot of my behavior and and found his Games People Play to be very helpful.
4. In 1957 I bicycled with my late husband from Munich to Bremerhaven on single speed bikes. It took a month and we lived on $1 a day.
5. I worked five years in a Nursing Home as an LPN on the night shift. They loved my hugs but hated the suppositories I had to give some before my shift ended. And I hope I helped some find peace in their final days. If I believed in guardian angels, I know who'd they be.
6. When I worked in the Nursing Home, I bicycled to my job at 10:30 at night and rode home at 7:30 in the morning except when it rained or snowed when I walked instead. It rained and snowed a lot in Rochester, NY. 20 minute ride, 40 minute walk.
7. I've been in 47 of the 50 states.
Now I have to figure out how to send the awards. Bobbie will probably tell me how or maybe LadyLuz or maybe I'll even figure it out myself (unlikely).
Friday, September 4, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Rules (as I received them): “Don’t take too long to think about it. List 15 books you’ve read that WILL ALWAYS STICK WITH YOU. They should be the first 15 you can recall in no more than 15 minutes. Then there were more rules that just apply to Facebook
The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper
Grimms Fairy Tales
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
1984 by George Orwell
2001, A Space Odyssey by Arthur C. Clark
Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit by Judith Kerr
Buddenbrooks by Thomas Mann
Gone to Soldiers by Marge Piercy
One of Ours by Willa Cather
Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Am I also supposed to send a copy to Mimi? Sometimes when I try to click on her site my computer goes bananas and tells me to end program. So maybe somebody will tell me how to send my post to Mimi.
In the meantime, Justin, the physical therapist from Vernal, yesterday brought up this over door cervical traction device that the dr in Vernal wants Eliot to use. Justin's first love is fishing and found that having to deliver the device was the best excuse to get out of the house on Saturday. He also brought his two year old son in a backpack and they hiked up to a favorite lake. Eliot hasn't tried the traction device yet. He wants to talk to the doctor first so we're going to go down Monday to Vernal but at least Justin got to go fishing.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Also I didn't mention how depressing it is reading Buzz Aldrin's autobiography. I haven't gotten very far but just remembering that I thought our landing on the moon was the beginning of a new era of space exploration and cooperation among the people of the earth. I was a Star Trek fan as well as a reader of other science fiction, not science fantasy. 2009 is not at all what I hoped it would have been 40 years ago.
Friday, August 28, 2009
First I said that we went back to Salt Lake City for another cortisone shot.
Then I said we probably have to get this traction apparatus for Eliot's neck.
then I complained about the scare tactics that the opponents to health care reform are using.
Then I said that Eliot and are I are 180 degrees apart on political views.
Then I said that I finally got my BlogBlast for Peace globe done with James' help whom Mimi sent me and then I said I'd better post date it if I can follow James' instructions.
Then I lost it.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Celeste, the name Goldfeder is almost always Jewish from the Yiddish, not German. Jews in Europe used to not have last names but were just called like David ben Joseph - David son of Joseph but then in various places at different times they were required to get last names, sometimes it would have to do with their trade or places that they lived or they sometimes had to get it from local jurisdiction where money had to pass hands which accounts for some peculiar names like cat's elbow and there actually is a reporter on National Public Radio named Ashlocke which means asshole. I'm not an expert on this, mostly got it second hand. Names like Cohen and Levy however, I believe are from priestly castes. I'm afraid I know more about Wicca than I do about Judaism.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Found an interesting blog: Blog of Ages: Aging -- one story at a time.
Welcome back Celeste. I'll have to check your blog to see about your adventures.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
I wanted you to hear from someone who favors single payer universal health care. For 5 years before I reached 65 I had no health insurance because I was self-employed and could not afford it. A close friend died of cancer at 65 because he wasn't able to get it diagnosed before he received Medicare. We are the only industrialized country without universal health care. I am tired of all these scare tactics put out by by the insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies. Most doctors I know favor single payer and they don't belong to the AMA. Rich people can always get the health care they want. We are already have rationing because people without health insurance don't get the care they need.
I am not a socialist. I believe in responsible capitalism. I believe in small businesses. I don't have much trust in big conglomerates and investors who make their money from other's misfortunes. Unfortunately I feel that most politicians are bought by lobbyists and the best government reform would be term limits for all congressmen.
I am 72 years old and just wanted to have my say because it's not going to affect me for much longer. I also have worked in Nursing Homes and believe people should have a choice about their end of life care. Pneumonia used to be viewed as the old man's friend. In nursing homes people who are ready to leave this life are given antibiotics when they get pneumonia.
I was lucky to have been born in the United States because I am Jewish by birth and if I had been born in Europe in 1937 I probably wouldn't be living now to write this. I am sorry to see the greed and ugly tactics that are used to push an agenda. We need people of all beliefs to sit down and talk to one another civilly.
Enough. The human race is on the way to oblivian. We are hardly a blip in geologic terms. Too bad we couldn't have been a better blip.
a wise old woman